Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
