I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
