I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
