it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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