god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
