Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
