I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Of course I have a pirate flag
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
