so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
