i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize