i barfeds in our rink
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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