saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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