I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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