smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
