I'd wear matching sweaters with you
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize