The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
