she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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