i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well I just put wine in my tea
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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