but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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