shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
