I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
