your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
