He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
