Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
