I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So drunk its hurt
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
