I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
