Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
