how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
