I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
