am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
