What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
