glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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