You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
