your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
