im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
