we have officially lost it.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
