how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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