i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
