We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
this will be a night to untag.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
