matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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