You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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