I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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