Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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