with your own penis?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize