I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
