So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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