Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
