yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
