he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Still dying that you shit outside
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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