doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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