All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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