Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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