Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Randomize
