One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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