He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
