Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
