Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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