I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
