brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
