after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you win again, gameday.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
